Tell Me a Secret
Holly Cupala



rating: 9 out of 10 "books"

“It’s tough, living in the shadow of a dead girl. No one mentions my sister. If they do, it’s mentioning her by omission, relief that I am nothing like her. I am the good sister. Thank God.” – Tell Me a Secret pg. 1

It’s been five years since Miranda Mathison’s bad girl sister, Xanda, died, but the mystery surrounding her death and the secret Xanda took to her grave still haunts Miranda. Now seventeen, the age Xanda was when she died, Miranda, or Rand, is dealing with some issues of her own. Her perfect life: an awesome boyfriend, perfect best friend, and promising future at art school after graduation, are all shaken up when two little pink lines on a pregnancy test threaten to destroy everything Rand has worked so hard for. To top it all off, the shaky relationship she’s had with her mother all her life, especially after the death of her “failure” of a sister, feels like it’s been permanently derailed after the news of her pregnancy leaks.

But the truth is, Rand has always wanted to be like Xanda. Maybe that’s why she surrounds herself with bad girl Delaney, and had isolated herself from her once best friend, Essence. So while all these bad things keep happening to her, Rand can’t help but obsess over the vagueness of Xanda’s death, and the secret truth that her parents might be keeping from her surrounding the way her sister died. The only problem is that it seems everyone has turned against Rand, her best friend and boyfriend included. With no one to talk to, not even her parents, Rand is completely on her own in terms of her pregnancy.

Talk about capturing the essence of high school! True, I’ve been out of high school for quite awhile now, but it felt like I was sucked right back into the drama of it all whilst reading this book. I for one, know how hard high school can be; how mean, manipulative, clique-y, and backstabbing (even your good friends!) can be. Cupala was able to capture all of the emotional angst and hardships that many teens face while pursuing secondary education, even more so, when you’re a soon-to-be teenage mother. I would never wish what happened to Rand in this story on anyone. And if you thought your mother was bad, wait until you get a load of Rand’s mom. In a somewhat related note, I also thought Holly Cupala did a really awesome job of representing (no offense my teenage friends!), the kind of ignorance young people have at that age, whereas, instead of going and finding out the facts for sure yourself, making a judgment call and abandoning your friend(s), boyfriend, or girlfriend based on what someone else told you. There was so many times when I wanted to yell at certain characters in the book because things were so obvious to me as an adult reader, and so easy to fix, but understandably confusing to a teen.

The only downside, that I was able to think of when it came to this story, was Xanda’s “secret.” Either the author was really unclear about what it actually was, or I just assumed one part of the story was the secret, but I was a little let down by Rand’s discovery as it related to Xanda. However, when all is said and done, I thought this was a really great book. It wasn’t just one of those “oh hey, another teenage pregnancy” kind of stories. I’ve read a lot of YA books in my time, and this was one of the few that really did YA right: no crazy/complicated love triangles, too mature for their age characters, or Gossip Girl-esque storylines. Holly Cupala definitely knows her stuff and I’m positive that if I had read this book in high school, I would have related to it even more than I just did a handful of years later. Go out and read this book!

Ballads of Suburbia
Stephanie Kuehnert



rating: 7 out of 10 "books"

"It's like a big anomaly, but everybody in suburbia has a fucked up secret, an event or series of events that made you who you are. That's what you're confessing to here." Hence, ballad. "A true ballad tells a story about real life." "A lot of ballads are about the mistakes we inevitably make while trying to figure out how to live our lives." -- Ballads of Suburbia


Ballads of Suburbia is one of those stories that starts with the epilogue and then spends most of the book in a flashback. After being left for dead while OD'ing in the park near her house the summer after her junior year of High School, our narrator, Kara, is just now returning to Chicago after a four year abscence. Kara, however, was not always a royal screwup just a typical angst-ridden teen searching like any of us, for her place in the world. The back story of Ballads of Suburbia begins with not only the start of Kara's High School days and the loss of her best friend Stacey, (who has moved to another part of town), but the constant downpour of family issues that threaten to destroy the last familiar part of her life. It isn't until Kara meets the goths and punk rockers that hang around Scoville Park that she begins to feel as if she finally has a close group of friends. And while, for the first time in years, Kara and her younger brother, Liam, are hanging out and making the same friends, partying every weekend with the Scoville crowd, and experimenting with the abundance of drugs, everything around them quickly begins to spiral out of control.

The title of this story, Ballads of Suburbia, is part of the basis behind the layout of the story. As Kara descirbes, the dictionary definition of a ballad is "a song that tells a story in short stanzas and simple words, with repetition, refrain, etc," or as Kara puts it, "the punk rocker or the country crooner telling the story of his life in three minutes, reminding us of the numerous ways to screw up." Large chunks of the story are even divided into the parts of a ballad starting with the Verse, followed by chorus, and so on, including the must-have element of a ballad: the guitar solo. But even more central to the title of this story is the notebook that Kara finds out about one day that contains each of the authors included's messed up childhood stories ("firsthand accounts of the things that changed you and the mistakes you made.") and immediately labels "ballads." It's these ballads that really centralize the plot of the story and unites the various characters in the book. One cannot read the notebook until they have written their own ballad, a confession of one's own mess ups and secrets.

On the one hand, I feel as if I've lived a completely sheltered life, having lived in Suburbia myself throughout my childhood and never having anything like this happen to me. Sure, I'd hear of people at my High School having parties, doing drugs, and getting pregnant, but most of the time my friends and I saw this all as very scandalous and stayed away from it. But on the other hand, I can see how easy it is to fall into those sorts of traps, especially in High School where fitting in is probably one of the biggest deals ever. I can honestly see how Suburbia would be the perfect place for all these bad, lurking elements to collide and I have no doubts that some of the newspaper articles that the kids in this story collected about bad things happening in the Suburbs could be, or are, true. I suppose I could say that I have had some suburban drama happen in my life, and I do wonder if some of the problems I've faced in my post-High School life have been as a result of growing up in "sheltered" Suburbia.

I really liked the idea of the notebook and the fact that the characters felt safe airing their dirty laundry to their fellow peers. What was essentially personal journal entries for these kids became group knowledge. It reminds me of that new MTV show "If You Really Knew Me." I think it's really made these teens feel a whole lot closer during a time when parents, as hard as they might try, really don't understand what their teenagers are going through. I think a lot of parents argue that they know perfectly well what's going on in their child's life because "we were once teenagers too," but "the times, they are a changing." I don't know when the next generation of teens are going to have it easier than the previous, but for now it seems like it always gets tougher and tougher to be that magical age.

I liked this story. It might not be a literary masterpiece, but I think it speaks out to people, not just teenagers, of the trials and tribulations, up and downs that people go through, possibly have to go through, before they can become the people they are meant to be.

Her Fearful Symmetry
Audrey Niffenegger


rating: 8 out of 10 "books"

Having read Niffenegger’s first novel “The Time Traveler’s Wife” and not caring for it in the least, I went into the reading of this book with no expectations. The main reason I even picked it up was because I discovered after seeing Neil Gaiman speak at one of my local libraries and reading his Newbury Medal Award winner, “The Graveyard Book,” that Gaiman and Niffenegger both visited Highgate Cemetery (I believe it was Highgate…can’t remember all the details) together while writing their “ghost stories” respectively.

I’ve seen many reviews by people saying this book is a huge disappointment; that it doesn’t measure up to “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” blah, blah, blah. And I suppose I can understand why people might feel this way. However, if you go into the reading of “Her Fearful Symmetry” expecting “The Time Traveler’s Wife Part II” you will no doubt be disappointed. This book is in no way a love story. Sure there are some romantic elements to the story, but if anything the overarching theme is people moving away from one another over time, not the other way around. The story begins with the death of Elspeth Noblin, who in her will, leaves her London flat and everything in it to the twin daughters of her own twin sister, Edie. Elspeth and Edie have long been estranged, and part of the mystery of the story is finding out the reason why this is. Twenty-ish year old twins Valentina and Julia move to London from Illinois to live in the Aunt they’ve never met’s flat, at least for one year before selling it, as the will states. They encounter all of Elspeth’s neighbors; from her much younger lover, Robert, to her strange upstairs neighbor, Martin, who suffers from severe obsessive compulsive disorder, causing his wife to leave him for Amsterdam early in the story. The twins not only look about twelve, as described in the book, but they act that way much of the time as well, which may cause readers some annoyance. The girls have never had a job, never really been on their own, and can’t even stay in school long enough to get any sort of degree. The story almost feels very Young Adult more than Adult at times, which may be reason why dedicated fans of “The Time Traveler’s Wife” may not like this book.

The title of “Her Fearful Symmetry” factors in a few parts of the story: the twins are what the author calls “mirror twins.” Valentina is the exact opposite in appearance from Julia in that while a mole on Julia’s face is on one side, let’s say the left, Valentina’s is on the right. They are identical but each of their features is opposite as if they were looking into a mirror when glancing at each other. Even the girls’ internal organs are opposite. While Julia has a normal layout of internal organs, Valentina’s are all opposite; from the placement of her heart on her right side of her chest and so forth. The author describes how the doctor had to use a mirror when performing surgery on Valentina as a baby because the reflection that it gave (of a normal heart) was how he was used to seeing it. Another portion of the novel that references symmetry is a passage narrated by Martin describing the way he likes to have symmetry in his washing and shaving patterns. As for the actual meaning of the title, that is up for the reader to decipher.

Although the twins do everything together and dress identically, their behaviorisms are very different as far as attitudes and interests. Julia is more outspoken than her twin and Valentina often feels resentful for the things they do not do because they are always things Julia does not want to do. Whereas Julia seems to have no life aspirations, Valentina would love to go to fashion school and get a real job. As the story begins to unfold, we see the twins’ relationship begin to unravel. Add to that the fact that the flat may be haunted by the ghost of Elspeth, which we do in fact find out, is the case. The story builds up to a very twisty climax and finishes on an utterly somber note.

As mentioned before, this is not a book for those looking for a happy ending. I was very surprised at the turn this book took. Niffenegger’s writing was very well done, especially in the descriptions of Highgate Cemetery, and I found this story very easy to read. There is definitely a style that I think Niffenegger has developed that can be seen in this story as well as in “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” I don’t know exactly how to pinpoint it, but in reading her passages on the more “intimate” parts of both stories, I can see a definite resemblance, especially in the male point of view. I honestly have to say that I enjoyed this novel. It was very different than much of the literature out there, and I felt it took a very different perspective as far as “ghost stories” go. I didn’t find it predictable in the slightest. Maybe it’s the average rating I would give “The Time Traveler’s Wife” that enables me to look past Niffenegger’s first novel and not feel disappointed by the second. I therefore give “Her Fearful Symmetry” a rating of 8 “books” out of 10.