Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later
Francine Pascal



rating: 3.5 out of 10 "books"

“Sweet Valley is back ... What terrible secret has torn Jessica and Elizabeth apart? Ten years after graduating from Sweet Valley High, the Wakefield twins have had a falling out of epic proportions. After Jessica commits a complete and utter betrayal, Elizabeth flees to New York to escape the pain and pursue her lifelong dream of becoming a journalist. Jessica remains behind in Sweet Valley, dealing with the fallout of her heart-wrenching choices and longing for forgiveness. But Elizabeth can't forget her twin's duplicity. Uncharacteristically, she decides the only way to heal her broken heart is to seek revenge. Always the 'good' twin, Elizabeth is about to turn the tables” – Amazon.com Review

Imagine my surprise when I found out Francine Pascal was writing a Sweet Valley book. It’s like it came out of nowhere, although I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised with all the reboots of everything from television to film to books. Even the Babysitter’s Club author is apparently writing more BSC books. If anything, Pascal’s novel is long overdue. I feel out of touch with this series since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Sweet Valley book. Much in the same way, I feel like Francine Pascal has gotten a bit out of touch when it comes to young people. While I don’t mean to slam Francine Pascal, especially since her books were my main lifeline during my early childhood, Sweet Valley Confidential just feels too late. I barely remember which character was which, let alone their personalities or actions from the early Sweet Valley books up through the college years. As many readers stated on the amazon.com website too, there were a ton of inconsistencies within the book and major disparity between characters then and now. It was as if Pascal herself forgot to refresh her memory by revisiting all her previous books prior to writing Confidential. The most laughable parts that I found however had to do with the more intimate moments in the book, more specifically one that happened towards the end of Sweet Valley Confidential. The way Francine Pascal described the situation read like a cheesy romance novel, convincing me even more of how far removed from her audience she must be. While Sweet Valley was never anything remotely intellectual, Sweet Valley Confidential seems to have really missed the mark this time. While it was fun to read a new Sweet Valley book and revisit the Wakefield twins for nostalgia’s sake, I think this book would have been better if it had never been written to begin with.

My Horizontal Life
Chelsea Handler



rating: 7 out of 10 "books"


For anyone who's ever watched the E! channel relatively late on a week night, I'm sure you've come across "Chelsea Lately," a late night talk show hosted by the hilariously witty, Chelsea Handler. On the show she openly talks about subjects that many would consider taboo or controversial, dishes out and speaks her mind about celebrity gossip, and most of all makes fun of the Hollywood elite. With her roundtable of guest comedians and her personal assistant, whom she calls her "little nugget," Chelsea Lately is hardly boring. I have become an avid viewer over the years, and try to catch it when I am able to stay up that late, but I had never really known anything about her personal life or other work-related projects outside from the show. I had never seen her do standup either, whether in person or on a TV special, so I was curious to read "My Horizontal Life" to try to find some kind of explanation as to the experiences that shaped the character that she is.

Of course, this book is a true story about a bunch of different one night stands, and given the subject matter may not be the best book for anyone under the age of 21 to read. However, apart from all the intimate details, this book is filled with laugh out loud moments from the situations (both embarassing and bizzare), down to Handler's writing style itself. While I had a hard time reading about her childhood memories and believing that she could act in such a manner as a 7-10 year old (the style of writing makes it feel like as a youngster, she spoke and thought much like she does now), eventually I was able to get used to it. I mean of course, having written this book as an adult, things are going to come across in her current voice... I think I just had a hard time believing she could be so clever and funny all her life. I sought some sort of explanation as to what kind of made her into the person she is, and yes the situations more than explain it, but somehow I still didin't find my answer. But again, that was not the intention of this book at all.

All in all, "My Horizontal Life" was a super fun read. I was able to get it read in no time at all. If you are a fan of Chelsea Handler, or just need an entertaining book to read on vacation or wherever, then I'd definitely recommend this book! Now I just need to get my hands on her other book "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea!"

Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp: A Novel
By C.D. Payne


rating: 3.5 out of 10 "books"



While recently perusing the shelves of my local bookstore, I was intrigued by this soon to be new addition of the “book-turned-movie” genre of literature. I had seen the preview for the Michael Cera movie, and having seen the pattern of one character type movies he usually stars in, was interested in seeing if this was just another outlet for him to perfect his stumbling loserish teenage boy type roles. Final decision: Undecided. While this novel by C.D. Payne seems right up Cera’s alley, the book does possess some interesting if not disturbing situations. But alas, this is neither a movie review nor a critique of Michael Cera, so let’s get on with the book review.

The main character of this story is Nick Twisp, an oversexed thirteen year old, who despite his best efforts, has yet to lay any claim to the “sex” in oversexed. He professes himself an only child, even though he has a sister (who left the family household as soon as she could to become an air stewardess, an action reminiscent of the lovely Zooey Deschanel in the film “Almost Famous.” But again, this is hardly a film review.) Nick’s life is characteristic of any angst ridden teen’s life; harsh parental figures, uncontrollable hormones (which present a persistent problem for Nick), and the pressures of High School. But what makes Nick’s story bizarre is the dysfunctionality of it all. He lives with his mother and her numerous line of sleazy boyfriends; from beer guzzling truck driver Jerry and gentle giant Wally; to cruel, abusive cop Lance. Nick’s own lazy father is more interested in landing his next young bimbo than finding a job to pay child support and spends his court appointed time with his son, handing out chore after chore for Nick to do around his house.

Youth in Revolt chronicles a year in Nick’s life although it hardly feels like it with all the trouble Nick finds himself in. When Nick meets the beautiful intelligent Sheeni at a religious motor home park Jerry takes the Twisps to for a vacation, he pledges to do all he can to win her over and most importantly, to win her into his bed. Before Nick leaves Sheeni for his hometown of Oakland, California, Nick and Sheeni make a pact to sleep together once Nick accomplishes Sheeni’s list of demands for Nick’s “de-flowering” date. Things turn sour however, when Nick’s home life goes south following incidents involving a plot to make his best friend Lefty’s sister sorry for sibling war waged, a Lincoln car/camping trailer disaster, and numerous situations involving sex. Following Sheeni’s suggestion to “revolt” his constant groundings and home “lockdowns,” Nick happily finds himself thrown out of his home to be sent to live with his deadbeat father who just so happens to have found a job as writer for the trade magazine Progressive Plywood, located in Sheeni’s hometown of Ukiah. But as Nick’s life can never stay on track for long, his plans for bedding Sheeni are once again delayed when she spills the news that she has been accepted at a very prestigious French-speaking academy in Santa Cruz.

What follows are Nick’s twisted attempts to bring Sheeni home and bring down anyone who tries to stop him. Even when Nick believes he is helping someone out, his plans always seem to end in the worst way. For someone who claims intelligence, one would have thought he’d be able to think things through a bit more. From cross-dressing, religion-hating dogs and illegal birth control smuggling, to attempted suicides, homelessness and homosexuality, this book is definitely not lacking in the bizarre. Oftentimes, one is left to ponder whether Sheeni is playing Nick the entire time and how the book can possibly end, but all is revealed in the last 40ish pages of the novel.

I still am not sure how I feel about this book. At times I felt like putting it down and never picking it up again, but in the end I was glad I stuck with it. If you can get over all the sexual crudity and hormonal actions that accounts for a majority of Youth in Revolt, I believe this book is worth reading. In reality, Paynes "Twisp" is probably more realistic than many of the YA stories chronicling teenage boys and the confusion most of them feel about topics like girls and sex. At least give it a chance for the rather unbelievable chain of events that occur in this story.